Jealousy is not a good feeling at all, in fact it's heavy and it seems to pull all the dark clouds in on me, but because I am human and I am no saint I have fallen into the traps of jealousy. Not proud of it but I'm honest about my feelings. Let's see...the last time I was really jealous was like 10 years ago, it was a part of a sibling rivalry. Again sibling rivalry is very common to most families among brothers and sisters. I was no different with the rest.
I was used to being treated as an only child, being raised by my grandparents and aunts I was the only child in the house although I had a brother but he lived with my parents.So, I had no competition with my grandparent's love and attention. Well, it used to be until my sister was born. My grandma soon favored her over me and I resented later on having a sister. I was no longer the apple of my grandma's eye it was now my sister and I fought hard to be my grandma's favorite. I tried to excel in class or show more affection but my grandma was sold out to my sister and I was dethroned.
I remember resenting my grandma that I soon withdrew from her. I refused to share anything with my sister, especially that she became a brat. I fought with grandma whenever she would give my toys and my clothes to my sister. I know I have outgrown my clothes and my toys but because I felt so jealous I would refuse to give them away. This resulted in heated arguments with my grandmother and me shutting down. I stayed away from my grandmother even when we lived under the same roof. I kept myself busy doing whatever came to mind, I no longer hang out with my grandmother and kept to myself.
However, I have out grown the sibling rivalry, now it doesn't matter to me whoever my grandma favors. I have learned to be content with what I have and take pride with what I have achieved. I no longer compare myself with my sister, I guess all was just a phase. I have learned to be happy with who I have become and be contented with the love shown to me by both grandparents and the rest of the family.
So, that was the green eyed monster within me and I'm glad he has been kicked out! :) What about you what makes you jealous? when was the last time you were jealous? Care to share? Join All about me Mondays below.